Tough Day (No filter)

Again, the same thing happens again and again. I guess it's new year fever where I suddenly get depressed and all that I accomplished simply fades into thin air and my mind only sees what I didn't accomplish. I start to self reflect, just weighing the good and the bad and that's never a good idea. I take myself into the darkest places in my mind where I feel worthless and a failure. I suddenly hate what I am doing and just want a job that I truly deserve and matches what I am capable of. I go on a job application spree until my head hurts. Then I give up and watch some YouTube videos related to skin care, astronomy, fatal cancer and anything that is irrelevant to what I am going through. I also reach out for friends when I am feeling this way, and just chatting with them is pure therapy. I guess this is how I cope with what I go through. 

I just had one of those days, and I feel awful, but I know it is temporary and tomorrow will be better. My life motto is to be kind to everyone, and I am not taking my own advice; I literally support everyone except myself. It's bad when you're mean to yourself. I guess I am still a work in progress. There is a trick that I came up with when you are feeling down, just list all the things you accomplished, then all the things you are thankful for. This makes me feel better because I have so much to be thankful for.